On a ship from across the “big pond” sailed the infamous Prince of Glockenspielstein, Fredrik Streusels Von Dumass. He was looking to start a new chapter in life in the newly discovered land of Mais and Honey. After a short voyage of 13 months (he wasn’t much of a sailor) he finally dropped anchor in the Bay of Corn Silk of the southernmost tip of Tejas. Unfortunately this small fishing village was swept from the face of the Earth in the Great Tsunami of 1757 but, not to worry, the entire village of two was saved. Fortunately the Prince had a plan. He had been smart enough to invest $1.00 with a shrewd investor in the central part of Tejas, up around SmallStone that quickly grew to an enormous amount of money, but that’s another story to be told in an election year. He was quick to rebuild the small sleepy village, but no one ever returned to this small piece of Paradise . Sadly Prince Fredrik Streusels Von Dumass left the place he had grown to love so much. After traveling all through the great land of Tejas, from the shores of Lake Michigan in Northeast Tejas to the to the Rocky Mountains in Northwest Tejas to the Great Plains of North Tejas. With a short stop in Huntsville , he met a frontiersman that introduced him to the world of cornpone. (oh, go ahead, Google cornpone) But alas found that the market was already saturated with cornpone stands. He finally settled in the wonderful community of Tomball just to the Northwest of Harrisburg. (That’s Houston for all the non-natives) He became fast friends with a rascal by the name of “Alive and Kickin’ Bob”. (Bob still has descendants in the area around Plantersville that show up at a small local festival yearly) Again, another story there somewhere.
But anyway, moving along to the future. The year was 2000 something and one of the present day descendants of Prince Fredrik Streusels Von Dumass by the name of Fredrik Streusels Von Dumass the XVI (they call him Cliff for short. Go figure) was driving down the lightly traveled trail I-45 toward the family compound. While maneuvering his mighty steed through the small but friendly group on the trail, F S Von D (Cliff for short) was pondering his next adventure. He had the ingenious idea of opening an eating establishment, but what kind should it be he wondered loudly to himself. What about a Tofu Buffet? Nah, couldn’t get it to stay in the shape of a turkey, it just kept falling apart. Maybe a Jumbo Shrimp House? That really threw him for a loop, kept having headaches trying to decide if he should serve big shrimp or little jumbos. (Sorry, the writers are on strike, I’m struggling and we don’t have any re-runs yet) He pondered this for many months, and finally decided on the ever popular and tasty world of Tacos. Easy to carry, easy to eat, I mean come on now, who doesn’t like Tacos???? Finally in November 2006, he was nearing the completion of his new dream. But what in the world should the name be? On another bright and cheery day while meandering down the ever so lightly traveled trail again, right in front of Gunspoint, another happy traveler changed three lanes to the right nearly removing the front end of his chariot all the while waving his middle digit, letting Cliff know that he was “Number One”. Next from nowhere the words “DUMB ASS” flew out the window of his haven. EUREKA, a bright light seems to have appeared from nowhere and the face of a distant relative came to mind. “I’ll name it after my name sake”, the Prince of Glockenspielstein. Fredrik Streusels Von Dumass. And know you have heard how the name “DUMASS TACO” came to pass. So if you get a chance, stop in and say hello, pickup a taco or two, a cup of coffee and stay awhile. They really are nice folks. Just ask the “Smiling Infidel”.
Facts and figures provided by Smartass the brother of Dumass.